Personal Musings

DON’T BELIEVE THE LIES.

What are the lies that you believe about yourself? “I’m not smart enough.” “I’m not thin enough.” “I’m not GOOD enough.” “I’ll never succeed.” “I can’t do it.” …and the list goes on. How much garbage do we allow the enemy to feed to us, for us to believe it as truth? How easy is it, to let one thought poison your mind and infiltrate? And like a cancer it spreads…and the lie becomes a *part* of you.

 

My pastor here in Seoul challenged us all to give up something for 40 days in the count down to Easter – to give up something that we ‘need’ and rely on, and replace it with time/thoughts focused towards God instead (well….thats always the plan. Doesn’t always end up that way though, haha). So me, being the bread-loving, -loving, carb-loving crazie that I am, decided to give up all carbs. Something that I have indeed fasted before, but of which killed me for a LOT shorter period of time than 40 days ( my previous time was 3 weeks….daaaang that was hard)…Lord be with me! Haha.

 

So of course, now all I can think about is BREADBREADBREADBREADWAFFLESPANCAKESRICENOODLESWAFFLESPANCAKES!STOPEATINGBREADNEARMEWHATSTHATSSMELLWAFFLES!?BREADRICECAKEARGGHH. Wish I was kidding….hahaha. Okay. Kind of=P

 

This time however, although I KNOW now what it is like to deprive myself of bready goodness (or anything white, processed and nummy for that matter), to my horror my mind took a turn for the worse – something that since leaving Australia and stepping foot in Korea – has never happened. And it felt all, too, much…like ‘home’.

 

As stupid as it sounds, id been riding so long and so high on a cloud of God-given joy during my time in Seoul, that I almost forgot what it was like to feel complete hopelessness and to feel despair. Not that I haven’t had times of struggle here; but rather the first time in a long time that I felt that it was ME who was the problem…and my mind shut down.

 

So here I was, thinking that I could have possibly rid myself of my condition forever. Sure seemed like it, with smooth sailing in my head for the past year or so, my mental health pushing forward rather than back. But as a lot of you out there most likely know, the harder you try to run towards God, the faster and harder opposition attacks – and since struggling and consequently crashing in the past few weeks, I have now learnt a few things:

 

  1. Mental health issues do not just ‘disappear’ (my life wish) – in most cases, you simply learn how to live with them, and ‘control’ it better ( and battle it, at some points. I wish I had a lightsaber. And for those of you out there who think differently, Christians are as prone to psychological issues as anyone else. Christians are human like anyone else, yoo)
  2. The words and expectations of others can be VERY damaging. We need to remember that we are all made differently; we all have a different plan and purpose for our lives – what God planned for us, not what others around us want us to do and be. Our worth doesn’t lie in other people’s opinions of us! So a reminder to look to the opinion and guidance of the one who matters the most – God.
  3. Our mind is our battlefield most of the time – without the believe that we CAN, we WILL, that HE will – it is so easy to give p, so easy to be disheartened and to be stuck in limbo with no heart to push through your struggles and push forward.
  4. Being stuck with darkness in our lives SUCKS, no doubt – but without testing and situations that need patience, would we ever feel the need to trust God? Or would he be pushed to the side, stuffed back into the emergency box for when we actually need a *miracle*? So I ask myself for the billionth time…do I trust You will bring me through again, God?

 

My friend reminded me – even though this FEELS like it did in the past, I am no longer the person I was – and I have a new arsenal of weapons to go into battle with; including the knowledge that what I think IS indeed a lie. Amen to that – this is where I go and slap myself in the face and tell my brain to shut up.

 

So I am mentally recharged and moderately better from the emotional slump I was in last week; but in a way it was a good reality check on my weaknesses, and the need to stop seeking approval through other people. Whether they are out to secretly undermine you, or they love you but dont understand you, OR you just had a bad day and anything that comes out of their mouth sounds like they trying to mess with you….in the end, FORGET those lies. FORGET what the enemy tells you, its a freakin LIE. I gotta remember to look UP, to look forward. And thats it.

 

Philippians 4:13 “I can do everything through him who gives me strength.”

 

Ending with Andy Mineo – You Can’t Stop Me. Hehe//

 

Be blessed,

 

Beckii.

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Personal Musings

WHY DO WE NEED TO GO TO CHURCH?

I remember back to the days of before I became a Christian – I refused, on all costs, to go to church out of my own will.

“Hey you should come to church this week!” “Yeah…maybe. We’ll see…”

 

I was highly intimidated by the thought of church. As a shy and introverted person [people who know me in real life may call me out on this one, haha – but honestly I’ve just learnt how to fake being extroverted pretty well over the past 15 years or so] it terrified me to go to somewhere where there would be MASSES of people I didn’t know, to have to be SEEN [and possibly approched? Or APPROACH PEOPLE!? GAH!!], to engage in awkward small talk about stuff I knew nothing about [or possibly cared nothing about]…MEET PEOPLE? ME? The scared introvert inside me cowered.

 

So in short, the idea of going to church scared me sh*tless. My mother would always ask me to try going to one with her and I would adamantly refuse, saying, “I can still believe in God, I don’t need to go to church to believe.”

 

Nearly 10 years down the track, I see how wrong I was – and how much my life has changed for the better after I stopped letting fear run my life – fear of people, fear of opinions, fear of what I didn’t know….of anything and everything, really.

 

So…why DO we need to go to church? [this is directed to the Christians…of course I would love for non-Christians to also come to church – the right one anyway – but I ain’t about to smack anyone in the face with a Bible, if you get my drift heh]

 

A couple of reasons that I have experienced for myself/seen in others:

 

  1. COMMUNITY

Man was not created to be alone – people need people. And as much as I hate people sometimes and want to be left alone, we weren’t meant to try and figure this life thing all out by ourselves. Church brings community, accountability – allowing for us to become support and strength for one another. Strength in numbers!

 

Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up, But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

 

1 Thessalonians 5:11
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”

 

  1. GROWTH

Okay…so this isn’t a mutually exclusive point but – interacting with others allows for us to learn and grow in our faith and understanding from other’s knowledge/wisdom, and vice versa. We can always give greater insight on something to someone else, and conversely back to us. Face it – we don’t know everything about everything.

 

Not to mention – dealing with a whole lot of different people with different characters and personalities challenges us to grow in areas we might not have encountered before. Such as, patience and tolerance. HAHA. [and grace…let us not forget grace=P ]

 

Hebrews 5: 12-14
“In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives in milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”

 

Proverbs 27:17
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”

 

Hebrews 10:24-25
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”

 

I would mention teachng…but that’s kind of self explainatory and falls under growth of some sort, anyway:)

 

In all aspects, [I know now that] church is not defined by the building, but rather the PEOPLE – each who form the body of Christ, with Jesus as the cornerstone foundation – and each person has their own unique purpose to work as one whole, functioning body.

After all, we wouldn’t be able to accomplish anything great and widespread if we were all created the same and could only do the same thing, right? [embrace your differences – DO YOU BOO. Ahahaha.]

 

 

Romans 12:4-6
“Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.”

 

1 Corinthians 12-26
“The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body – whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free – and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.

 

Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body was a eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, ever one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.

 

The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”

 

So although we go to church in a building each week [or should strive to] – we go for the greater purpose of BEING the church, building each other up in Christ and supporting each other, and learning from one another when the storms in life come.

 

One more time? Don’t be afraid – we ALL need people, the RIGHT people in our lives. And….DO YOU BOO. Ahahaha. It could change your life [disclaimer: provided you find the right church, haha]! I wish I could have told this to my terrified teenage self all those years ago…

 

Be blessed,

 

Beckii x

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