Personal Musings


“Welcome to the church in the wild
I live with dudes haven’t been to church in a while
I’ve chosen this lifestyle, you ever met my friends?
Porn stars, dope dealers, they like, “Why you chill with them”?
I thought you was a Christian? Yeah I’m on that team
But I’m with them cause my life’s the only bible that they’ve ever seen” –

– Andy Mineo



Once again, this post was inspired by thoughts provoked from listening to Andy Mineo‘s track ‘Wild Things‘. STILL a must-buy album for me, so please check it out if you haven’t had the chance yet!

I think a common misconception I come across is that when people think of Christians – they immediately associate Christians with innocent, ‘goody two-shoes’ people who either are oblivious to anything bad around them and are permanently living in candyland; or as people who have a superiority complex over others who seemingly have a worse/more sinful lifestyle…

…this isnt true at all. Christians are not BETTER than anyone else in any way; its simply one being able to ADMIT their failures and sins, and having the humility to surrender everything to the one who CAN save. As I said in my previous post; we are all equal – no matter who we are, we all have the exact same potential to sin – to be Christian is just to admit this, and KNOW that God is in control, and when Jesus said “It is FINISHED.” He meant it.

As Jeff Bethke [a young guy from Seattle who’s wisdom i REALLY respect] put nicely in his “Why I Hate Religion, But Love Jesus” spoken word,

“Because if grace is water, then the church should be an ocean
It’s not a museum for good people, it’s a hospital for the broken
Which means I don’t have to hide my failure, I don’t have to hide my sin
Because it doesn’t depend on me it depends on him”



Jesus came into the world to SAVE everyone, but especially those who needed healing and restoration – and called on the BROKEN to become soldiers of light [Matthew 9:12 “On hearing this, Jesus said, “It is not the healthy who need a doctor, but the sick. But go and learn what this means: ‘I desire mercy, not sacrifice.’ For I have not come to call the righteous, but sinners.’ “]. For the righteous and those who had everything in their lifes didn’t believe in Jesus or that they needed Him.

And isn’t this somewhat true of today? How often do we come to God to pray when we are in dire trouble, or in desperate need of something? We pray out of desperation when it is convenient for us – like we keep God in a little box labelled “IN CASE OF EMERGENCY”. But how often do we come to God when we have everything we need? How often would we sacrifice something for God when we are in a position to receive everything we need WITHOUT Him?

This is why [I believe] that in countries that are less priveledged, the love of God [towards God] and the grace of God shown in much greater amounts; for in times of trial and tribulation, God pours out his grace. I have heard this first hand from North Korean women who escaped Kim Jong Il’s reign [by the skin of their teeth, mind you. My heart breaks at what ‘normal’ life is for them over there] and I was astonished, and HUMBLED by how great their faith was, how much more than mine – MUCH MUCH more than mine, women who have suffered emotionally and physically in ways that I could not even…comprehend. And how God provided soo richly for them – for without suffering in some way, there is no door for God to enter our lives, and we are [naturally] not as aware of God as much. because we technically ‘don’t need Him’.


2 Corinthians 12:9 “But he said to me, “My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness.” Therefore I will boast all the more gladly about my weaknesses, so that Christ’s power may rest on me.”

Okay so…a lot of time I also get “Why would you want someone to control your life? Have fun not doing what YOU want to do.” Lets think of it another way – not ‘control’.
When life feeds you lemons and vinegar and NOTHING seems to be going right, and you don’t know where to go or what to do or HOW to do it…how much would you want someone who LOVES you to come, give you a hug, tell you its okay and that you don’t HAVE to be strong all the time because they will be strong for you and protect you. and that they’re going to hold your hand through your hard times and will help you to fix up your life – if only you let them. AND granted, to get that feeling involves having FAITH [which…is important…and hard…hahaha] but God WILL provide. He comes for the broken, not for the able.

1 Timothy 1:15 “Here is a trustworthy saying that deserves full acceptance: Christ Jesus came into the world to save sinners – of whom I am the worst. But for that very reason I was shown mercy so that in me, the worst of sinners, Christ Jesus might display his unlimited patience as an example for those who would believe on him and receive eternal life.”

God entered my life at a period where I was beyond broken – and was ready to throw myself away – but 3-4 years on, through a [painful, and still ongoing] process, I am someone who I never thought I would be. and I am so SO thankful for that; for God took hold of my life and cut off the limbs that needed to be cut, broke the chains and is teaching me to be something different; VERY different, but better. I’m starting to find out what ‘life’ looks like, for the first time EVER.
So if this is what ‘control’ looks like, im all in. The world could never give me what I hoped it would; as much as I tried. I can’t control my own life, I stuff it up. And I’m definitely not the only one who thinks this.

God can and will use you in what you THOUGHT was a weakness – but it will be a point in which you can minister to those who go through the same thing; the main difference being is that you’ve reached the light at the end of the tunnel…how much would you be able to HELP them; when others who have not had that particular experience would not be able to relate in the same way? how AWESOME is that?


Let us not forget, that through what Jesus did on the cross we are washed CLEAN. Broken or not, we do not need to hold that burden of our sin.

1 Corinthians 6:9-11 “Do you know that the wicked will not inherit the kingdom of God? ….And that is what some of you were. But you were washed, you were sanctified, you were justified in the name of the Lord Jesus Christ and by the Spirit of our God.”

Ephesians 2:4-5 “But because of his great love for us, God, who is rich in mercy, made us alive with Christ even when we were dead in transgressions – it is by grace that you have been saved.”




Also a reminder – a lot of prominent people in the Bible were sinners, and did great works for God – Moses was a murderer, Paul actively prosecuted Christians + was responsible for many deaths, David committed adultery and consequential murder, Rahab was a prostitute….now I’m sure a lot of you haven’t killed anyone or committed adultery [or have you? just kidding] – and look how God was able to use them! So how much would He also be able to use YOU? 😀



2 Corinthians 4:7 “But we have this treasure in jars of clay to show that this all-surpassing power is from God, and not from us.”
So, my jars of clay…we know that God will give us the potential for greatness, despite being broken and in need of help. And it is the LOST who need God…and who need to be reached out to.

“But um, if we ain’t living it who else gon’ show em
What a family supposed to look like instead of them broken homes
Gotta be living stones around where they getting stoned”


did this make sense? I’m never sure, haha.


be blessed,


beckii xo

Passage Musings


Listening to Andy Mineo’s new ‘Heroes for Sale’ album for the past few days nonstop has evoked many a new thought in my head. Its AWESOME. AMAZING. Whatever you want to call it, Andy is on fire and the more I listen the more meaning I hear from his lyrics.


CONVICTION. Anyway….I might blog more in depth about his awesome album in a later post. Go support a brother and buy his album on iTunes! or on Reach Records if you don’t have iTunes, like me.


Christian rap is starting to reaaaaallly be on point. PtL for hiphop!




SO! As ‘Superhuman’ played in my head all Friday morning [ “so the grace I talk about in all of my records / I need it for myself cause really I’m just a mess”, “they expected / me to be a man without flaws / thats false I am just another rapper that’s called to point y’all to the cross”] it made me think of the vineyard parable I had recently read in Matthew.



Matthew 20:1-16 (NIV)


“For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard. He agreed to pay then a denarius for the day and sent them out into his vineyard.

About the third hour he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ So they went.

He went out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour and did the same thing. About the eleventh hour he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’

‘Because no one has hired us,’ they answered. He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’

When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’

The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. So when those who came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These men who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you who have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’

But he answered one of them, ‘Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarious? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’

So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”




Okay that was long. And I suppose when I read it on first glance, I too was kind of like…what the heck?! Who toils all day and gets the same pay as someone who only worked one hour? Thats not fair! But I think it is actually a pretty hmm…humbling revelation when you realise that in the kingdom of God, it ain’t about you and how much more you did compared to someone else. Its what Jesus did for us; and that no matter how long you have been saved for, EVERYONE’s salvation is the same, and equal in God’s eyes.


The workers who were asked to the vineyard earlier believed it was for their OWN efforts that they deserved to be paid more, even thought they had agreed on the wage they were to be given.


In contrast, the workers that were left over in the eleventh hour were just that. Left over. and probably not the most able. The best always get chosen first for something, right? until the landowner came and found them and gave them work to do and the chance to earn some money.


And so we can see [or at least I think so…welcome to my blog haha] that this is an example of God’s GRACE. That no matter if we are blessed with more skills and abilities to do more and reach higher status and success in this world, or if we are more unfortunate in our circumstances and fail at things in our life, it doesn’t matter. God’s grace extends to us all, in the same amount, and we all receive the SAME salvation.


So be humbled in knowing that you are not superior over anyone else; nor are you any lesser. we are alllllll but…human! and Jesus came to die for us all….not for anything we did in particular, but that God’s love extends unconditionally for all.






beckii xo