Personal Musings


Looks like I’m back again, back to the topic of identity and self-worth. This post is going to be a bit rambly and personal – I still can’t get my thoughts to align clearly in my head.

“I’m not good enough.” “Why would he (she) be interested in me?” “He (She)’s probably just being nice.” “I have to be like THIS for him (her) to like me.” “I’m nothing compared to those other girls (guys), no one will ever want me.” “I’m not pretty enough.” “I’m too fat.” “Single…forever?…”

Sound familiar? Sure does to me. All those thoughts plus more, cycling through my head in the past 26 years of life (well…maybe less. Don’t really think I would’ve been thinking about this when I was 5 years old…ahahaha), wondering why I am the way I am, wondering what it was (or is…I’m still riding solo haha) that day after day, year after year – as I see the people around me enter and leave relationships, get married, start planning their life with someone – that nothing changes for me.

My conclusion would always be that the problem was (or is…), ME. Or…is it?

Well…it kind of is, haha.

As I get older (thank God) my vision is starting to clear about the concept of a relationship in relation to my life; and realise that its not so much about trying to change yourself to become what someone else wants you to be (or what you THINK they want you to be) and attract someone with qualities that ultimately you are not (and how you catch em is how you keep em, honey)…but rather face your own fears, discover who God made YOU to be, and embrace who you are honestly.

After all, whatever shape or size you come in – CONFIDENCE is the key. IDENTITY is the key. For if we base or foundation of worth on what the world says we are – won’t it keep changing, and the bar for ‘perfection’ keep rising? We are all made differently, and no matter what, in this world there will be someone (physically) better looking than you, smarter than you, thinner than you, fitter than you……yeah, you get the drift. If we keep comparing, then we will NEVER be content in ourselves.

Obvious but! – knowing who you are, and being comfortable with it, regardless what other people say – is PARAMOUNT. Knowing how to GIVE love, but also how to RECEIVE love (and believe yourself worthy of it), is paramount. Not saying this should lead to complacency about changing and improving yourself, but rather knowing that God loves you, has a purpose for your life, and that you have your OWN path to follow – different to someone else’s.

God blew my mind a few years ago – and I KNEW that I had to change. But how? After 23 years of doing the same thing, forming (bad) habits…how do I essentially learn how to become a completely new person? To stop being so self-pitying, to stop being consumed by my own thoughts and self-condemnation because it is so much easier to put yourself down than raise yourself up, to stop comparing myself to others, to stop being AFRAID….afraid of everything I didn’t know, afraid to be proud of myself and what I have accomplished, afraid to be who I wanted to be.

So many lies, so many things impressed into my head as truth, as how my life should be, as how I should be…the time is NOW to rise up and BECOME who God made you to be. I had to (and have to – continually) remember that my identity, that WHO I AM has nothing to do with what I look like (or what I *think* I look like – its a daily struggle to not put myself down/be okay with myself and not think I look ugly and chubby all the time), its nothing to do with the job that I have (or don’t have – I tell you this, coming from a high paying job, quitting it to come live off my savings with no income in a foreign country on almost missionary status – definitely doesn’t sit well with people who don’t know my heart), its nothing to do with what the world says I am – but rather that it is knowing who I am in Christ, who He says I am, that I CAN be worthy because I am a child in His kingdom.


So what is the first step? I suppose…identifying the issues, and going from there. Hence the title…BECOMING something more. Going to try and be really transparent, because lets face it – I am done with trying to hide everything for fear of judgement. Enough! *flips table*


BECOMING…comfortable in my skin as a woman. I think one of the hardest things for me to be able to be comfortable with was seeing myself as a woman. Not as a girl, but a WOMAN. As a female! Coming from an overprotective family environment where I was not allowed to be responsible for anything because I “couldn’t do it”, where my opinion and choices were always rejected and not validated and hence could not make my own decisions on anything, where I was constantly told that I would be molested/taken advantage of by all men if I were in close proximity to any of them (note: this DOES hold value in society today as a valid point; however being wary should not stem from a place of fear) – I inadvertently pulled up barriers to everyone, and embraced being a tomboy – with no real mindset of my own.

I still can’t really look at myself without feeling uncomfortable.

If I’m just “one of the boys” then I’m safe right? If I just stay out of human contact (again, another easy thing as an introvert) then I won’t have to make decisions and talk to people, right? If I don’t try new things then I can’t make mistakes, right? If I become a doormat and do exactly as you say, then I can avoid conflict, right?

There was a time where I wouldn’t even wear a tshirt – my exposed arms were enough to make fear rise in my heart; so I would always wear super baggy sweaters and pants, even in summer. I would rather suffer (in various areas of my life) than to draw attention to myself in any way…which of course led to bad consequences at times…

Now being over mid-20s now; I can’t be a little frightened girl anymore. I have to admit to myself that yes – I need to embrace myself and NOT dress and act like a boy as a protective mechanism (albeit my personal style is kind of hip-hop/tomboyish….err thats not the point, haha) and that its ok to dress feminine. That yes – being single is really starting to suck and I need to learn to address my fear of the opposite sex and how they see me. That yes – I need to learn how to LOVE myself, take control of my emotions and rebuke all my negative thoughts about who I am and what I look like.

I’m not like you. Nor will I ever look like you. But Beckii…thats okay.

To learn to look at myself through His eyes, rather than my own.

Jeremiah 31:3 “Long ago the Lord said to Israel: “I have loved you, my people, with an everlasting love. With unfailing love I have drawn you to myself.”



BECOMING…courageous in what God has called me to do, and who I am through it. Fear is another huge stronghold over my life – somewhat less in recent years, but something that since childhood has been very hard to break (I sound like a mess dont I…haha so many issues=P) – fear in social situations, fear in making mistakes and hence being indecisive, fear in speaking my mind lest I be judged for it, fear of the opposite sex, fear of the unknown….EVERYTHING!

Coming to Korea gave me the opportunity to FORCE myself to face a lot of these fears (when you have no choice…just gotta do it) – forced myself to go to church/other large social outings (I really hate these) else I would be friend-less and alone in a foreign country. Forced myself to speak up in another language, or I would be stranded in a foreign country. Forced myself to step out of the box I so carefully enclosed myself in to experience a world, experience things I never thought existed, to meet people I never thought existed/I never thought I would meet, to DO things I never thought possible!

Now finally being somewhat towards the direction of what I’ve dreamed of, to finally do things that make sense to me and that can help other people, to be in a position of responsibility – yet being hit in the face with uncertainty and hard trials – being courageous involves TRUSTING God. ACTUALLY trusting Him, not saying/acting like I do, but really having disbelief at the back of my head. Trusting that He will pull me through this all even though I walk blindly – because He is sovereign and there is a purpose. There is ALWAYS a purpose, even if we can’t rationalise it for ourselves.

Romans 5:1-5 “Therefore, since we have been justified by faith, we have peace with God through our Lord Jesus Christ. Through him we have also obtained access by faith into this grace in which we stand, and we rejoice in hope of the glory of God. More than that, we rejoice in our sufferings, knowing that suffering produces endurance, and endurance produces character, and character produces hope, and hope does not put us to shame, because God’s love has been poured into our hearts through the Holy Spirit who has been given to us.”

Romans 8:31-39 “What shall we say about such wonderful things as these? If God is for us, who can ever be against us? Since he did not spare even his own Son but gave him up for us all, won’t he also give us everything else? Who dares accuse us whom God has chosen for his own? No one—for God himself has given us right standing with himself. Who then will condemn us? No one—for Christ Jesus died for us and was raised to life for us, and he is sitting in the place of honor at God’s right hand, pleading for us.
Can anything ever separate us from Christ’s love? Does it mean he no longer loves us if we have trouble or calamity, or are persecuted, or hungry, or destitute, or in danger, or threatened with death? (As the Scriptures say, “For your sake we are killed every day; we are being slaughtered like sheep.”) No, despite all these things, overwhelming victory is ours through Christ, who loved us.
And I am convinced that nothing can ever separate us from God’s love. Neither death nor life, neither angels nor demons, neither our fears for today nor our worries about tomorrow—not even the powers of hell can separate us from God’s love. No power in the sky above or in the earth below—indeed, nothing in all creation will ever be able to separate us from the love of God that is revealed in Christ Jesus our Lord.”

Deuteronomy 31:6 “So be strong and courageous! Do not be afraid and do not panic before them. For the Lord your God will personally go ahead of you. He will neither fail you nor abandon you.”



BECOMING…less, and He becoming greater in me. This season of my life I need to learn what it really means to seek Him and His face – and not just SAY I do. To prioritise the right things, to really focus on Him. Greater intimacy and time spent = gaining clarity and discernment, learning peace and trust, knowing His voice, knowing when I need to humble myself and release my tight grip on things in my life. There is just too much going on for me to try and control anymore…

Psalm 27:14 “Wait for the Lord; be strong and take heart and wait for the Lord.”

Matthew 6:33 “But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness, and all these things will be given to you as well.”

Psalm 37:4-6 “Take delight in the Lord, and he will give you the desires of your heart.Commit your way to the Lord;trust in him and he will do this: he will make your righteous reward shine like the dawn, your vindication like the noonday sun.”


Time to LET GO. And…LEGGO!:)


Be blessed.



Personal Musings


Long time no see, blog.

This may come together as a giant outpour of mental diarrhoea….but I gotta get it out!! So readers, beware:D

It has been a continuing, gradual process of self-discovery, self-evaluation, healing and growing during my time here in Korea. A process of allowing myself to pull out that box of problems that I pushed to the deep recesses of my mind, to force them t come to light, to force myself to FACE them and resolve them. And hey – it is super difficult, and the more I unravel about myself; the more I realise and recognise just how much of a battle it is.

Its true – sometimes there’s a part of us that doesnt want to change. Because more often than not, change is difficult, and painful, and we just can’t be bothered. There’s a very big part of me that fights to keep acting like I know, to repeat the same behaviour which is familiar to me, knowing full well it is detrimental to my psychological health, my spiritual health – and that is absolutely NOT what God wants for me.

Man….I frustrate myself sometimes.

I am naturally, VERY introverted. Everyone who sees me regularly will insist I’m lying and that I’m an extrovert in denial – haha! But I am not. I can very easily spend a lot of time with myself and I have always disliked big crowded events with a lot of people because *GASP * it would mean that I would have to try and make small talk *horrified face * and I am the most awkward turtle EVER (dangerous, as too much time alone leads to too many thoughts which can lead to negativity which can lead to a relapse of depression….dammit~)….BUT. Again, I know that God has NOT called me to be a social recluse and NOT impact and encourage others by making myself lonely and useless!

We are called to love God and love others – so as commonly said, and as my friend said to me; are we REALLY doing the former, if we cannot do the latter?

So that brings me (again) to fear – if we let fear hold us back, if we let THAt be the reigning factor in our lives – then we essentially block ourselves from fulfilling our potential to do great things! Until we step into our calling and move boldly through this life, it will only be a “what if.” And that is exactly what the enemy wants – for us to never realise that we are ALL capable of doing something amazing in our own right.

So in a roundabout way, I am completely frustrated and annoyed at…MYSELF. For caving in; for shrinking back and being tired of…well, EVERYTHING right now. I’m human…and I’m tired. And I want to give up. Why CAN’T I perform better? Why CAN’T I be more creative? Why CAN’T I take criticism like I should? Why do I have to wait so long to see fruit of my hard work? Why don’t I have the energy or can be bothered to make the effort to socialise and not be uncomfortable about it? Why can’t I accept myself for who I am (fully)? So many questions…

And…I don’t have an answer for that. At least, not now.

Mind over matter. How often do we hear things like this? Sometimes its not the actual matter at present, but our ATTITUDE and how we react to it. And lets be honest, being a foreigner in another country DEFINITELY confronts you with a lot more conflicting situations and feelings than you would in a situation more comfortable to you.

And God knows this! By bringing things you dont want to deal with to the surface; and by smacking you in the face with them. But, if we don’t deal with our insecurities and fear and problems, how do we grow and learn and move on to do bigger and better things??

You know, I’m not going to lie that I don’t feel a bit sad/hurt/disappointed/rejected that on a regular basis, aside from (very) few friends, only my mother contacts me here to see how I’m doing. I’m not going to lie that in the majority of my time spent here that I am alone; and the balance between enjoying my solidarity and feeling alone and isolated is very fine. I’m not going to lie that following God is hard, and walking blindfolded leaves me questioning my worth and what I’m doing, ALL the time. I’m not going to lie in that a season where friends everywhere are getting married and hooking up and you are (still) forever alone, doesn’t make you wonder if there is something wrong with you and that you WILL be forever alone.

I’ve BEEN there. I AM there. But at the end of the day – it is MY choice to think optimistically or pessimistically about my circumstances I am in; the biggest enemy we fight is OURSELVES. Just as it is our choice to follow Jesus, it is our choice and our onus to think positively, pray and see God in the season we are in. It is up to US to fight against our negative thoughts and situations and figure out WHY we are going through what we are going through, see what God wants us to learn from it, and how he wants us to grow THROUGH it.

Let’s be real, to keep playing the victim card whe you are out of firing range should be a red flag to YOURSELF that its time to wake up and stop feeling sorry for yourself, and LET GO. I don’t want to be that person on facebook that just b**ches about everything. Negativity breeds negativity. And I know and believe God wants us whole – and wont be satisfied with only part of us because we don’t *really * want to face our problems.

Our mind, our SELVES can be our biggest enemy. So as I try to tell myself too – don’t let the lies win. Don’t live your life as a sub-par version of yorself just because you let your mind stop your actions.

Mind over matter. Life IS a battle. But with Jesus you CAN and WILL do anything.

Now, to convince myself.

Ephesians 6:12 “For our struggle is not against flesh and blood, but against the rulers, against the authorities, against the powers of this dark world and against the spiritual forces of evil in the heavenly realms.”

Be blessed,

Beckii x

Personal Musings


I remember back to the days of before I became a Christian – I refused, on all costs, to go to church out of my own will.

“Hey you should come to church this week!” “Yeah…maybe. We’ll see…”


I was highly intimidated by the thought of church. As a shy and introverted person [people who know me in real life may call me out on this one, haha – but honestly I’ve just learnt how to fake being extroverted pretty well over the past 15 years or so] it terrified me to go to somewhere where there would be MASSES of people I didn’t know, to have to be SEEN [and possibly approched? Or APPROACH PEOPLE!? GAH!!], to engage in awkward small talk about stuff I knew nothing about [or possibly cared nothing about]…MEET PEOPLE? ME? The scared introvert inside me cowered.


So in short, the idea of going to church scared me sh*tless. My mother would always ask me to try going to one with her and I would adamantly refuse, saying, “I can still believe in God, I don’t need to go to church to believe.”


Nearly 10 years down the track, I see how wrong I was – and how much my life has changed for the better after I stopped letting fear run my life – fear of people, fear of opinions, fear of what I didn’t know….of anything and everything, really.


So…why DO we need to go to church? [this is directed to the Christians…of course I would love for non-Christians to also come to church – the right one anyway – but I ain’t about to smack anyone in the face with a Bible, if you get my drift heh]


A couple of reasons that I have experienced for myself/seen in others:



Man was not created to be alone – people need people. And as much as I hate people sometimes and want to be left alone, we weren’t meant to try and figure this life thing all out by ourselves. Church brings community, accountability – allowing for us to become support and strength for one another. Strength in numbers!


Ecclesiastes 4:9-12
“Two are better than one, because they have a good return for their work: if one falls down, his friend can help him up, But pity the man who falls and has no one to help him up!

Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm. But how can one keep warm alone?

Though one may be overpowered, two can defend themselves. A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”


1 Thessalonians 5:11
“Therefore encourage one another and build each other up, just as in fact you are doing.”



Okay…so this isn’t a mutually exclusive point but – interacting with others allows for us to learn and grow in our faith and understanding from other’s knowledge/wisdom, and vice versa. We can always give greater insight on something to someone else, and conversely back to us. Face it – we don’t know everything about everything.


Not to mention – dealing with a whole lot of different people with different characters and personalities challenges us to grow in areas we might not have encountered before. Such as, patience and tolerance. HAHA. [and grace…let us not forget grace=P ]


Hebrews 5: 12-14
“In fact, though by this time you ought to be teachers, you need someone to teach you the elementary truths of God’s word all over again. You need milk, not solid food! Anyone who lives in milk, being still an infant, is not acquainted with the teaching about righteousness. But solid food is for the mature, who by constant use have trained themselves to distinguish good from evil.”


Proverbs 27:17
“As iron sharpens iron, so one man sharpens another.”


Hebrews 10:24-25
“And let us consider how we may spur one another on towards love and good deeds. Let us not give up meeting together, as some are in the habit of doing, but let us encourage one another – and all the more as you see the Day approaching.”


I would mention teachng…but that’s kind of self explainatory and falls under growth of some sort, anyway:)


In all aspects, [I know now that] church is not defined by the building, but rather the PEOPLE – each who form the body of Christ, with Jesus as the cornerstone foundation – and each person has their own unique purpose to work as one whole, functioning body.

After all, we wouldn’t be able to accomplish anything great and widespread if we were all created the same and could only do the same thing, right? [embrace your differences – DO YOU BOO. Ahahaha.]



Romans 12:4-6
“Just as each of us has one body with many members, and these members do not all have the same function, so in Christ we who are many form one body, and each member belongs to all the others. We have different gifts, according to the grace given us.”


1 Corinthians 12-26
“The body is a unit, though it is made up of many parts; and though all its parts are many, they form one body. So it is with Christ. For we were all baptized by one Spirit into one body – whether Jews or Greeks, slave or free – and we were all given the one Spirit to drink.


Now the body is not made up of one part but of many. If the foot should say, “Because I am not a hand, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. And if the ear should say, “Because I am not an eye, I do not belong to the body,” it would not for that reason cease to be part of the body. If the whole body was a eye, where would the sense of hearing be? If the whole body were an ear, where would the sense of smell be? But in fact God has arranged the parts in the body, ever one of them, just as he wanted them to be. If they were all one part, where would the body be? As it is, there are many parts, but one body.


The eye cannot say to the hand, “I don’t need you!” And the head cannot say to the feet, “I don’t need you!” On the contrary, those parts of the body that seem to be weaker are indispensable, and the parts that we think are less honorable we treat with special honor. And the parts that are unpresentable are treated with special modesty, while our presentable parts need no special treatment. But God has combined the members of the body and has given greater honor to the parts that lacked it, so that there should be no division in the body, but that its parts should have equal concern for each other. If one part suffers, every part suffers with it; if one part is honored, every part rejoices with it.”


So although we go to church in a building each week [or should strive to] – we go for the greater purpose of BEING the church, building each other up in Christ and supporting each other, and learning from one another when the storms in life come.


One more time? Don’t be afraid – we ALL need people, the RIGHT people in our lives. And….DO YOU BOO. Ahahaha. It could change your life [disclaimer: provided you find the right church, haha]! I wish I could have told this to my terrified teenage self all those years ago…


Be blessed,


Beckii x



I won’t really have much time to blog anything proper this month [or even the next…can’t say with the way work is piling up] so as an – encouraging – space filler, I may reblog posts I find interesting from a recent find, Unka Glen🙂

Pastor Glen Fitzjerrell does prison ministry with ex-convicts in Chicago, and I stumbled across his Tumblr a few months ago. Refreshing, and possibly the best spiritual internet find I have had in a LONG time!

I take no credit for this content; all from ‘Unka’ Glen’s tumblr:) linked above!


“I recently heard a sermon where the pastor quoted Ephesians 4:27, “do not give the devil a foothold”, and he said, “I don’t want to give the devil any room in my life!” And it struck me, we really do give the enemy that easy foothold in so many ways. And here are some of the most common:

Fear of the future. The future is a mystery. And if you learn to embrace the mysteries of life, you’ll be a much happier person. We invented the phrase “spoiler alert” for a reason, because we don’t want to know what happens until the time is right. Your future could be anything, that’s what makes it amazing.

Insecurities. There is nothing more toxic than insecurity. It kills everything it touches. Left unchecked it will ruin every relationship a person has. It spawns jealousy, and even worse, it’s contagious. Have you ever been around an insecure person, and they say something like, “Oh I’ve been talking too much about my problems, I’m not important”, and then you think “Do I do that? Do I talk about my problems too much?”

Unrealistic self expectation. With a shocking regularity, we decide to permanently endure something that, realistically, we can only endure for a very short time. All these unacceptable areas we put up with, they’re like ticking time bombs, and when they go off, the enemy will be ready to step in.

Guilt games. Wallowing in guilt is all about creating a pain over your past and calling it holy. However, the Bible says we shouldforget what is behind us, and press on to reach the goal, to win the prize (Philippians 3:13-14). God is instructing you to focus on the positive benefits of moving forward, not the negative consequences of your past.

Fear of failure. Fear is a worry that something bad might happen and take us out. But failure definitely will happen, and it won’t take us out. God is bigger than our failures. Besides, a little failure is good for you. It keeps you humble and teaches you things.”




Personal Musings



I hope to become THAT person in the near future. Aiming for a better me, to encourage a better YOU:) Can’t believe its December already…



Personal Musings


Dear you,


I know we haven’t talked in a long time, or perhaps not at all, but I just wanted to tell you, that you are loved.


You are loved in ways greater than you may ever know, but I assure you of this – that you ARE cared for, and you ARE loved. Someone out there in this messy world, someone is praying for you. They may be closer to you than you think; or they might be at the complete other side of the earth, but they are praying for you.


I know it. You may not believe the depths that someone can love you – but I do, and I know that they take that time out to think of you and pray for you.


I’m sorry that you’ve never experienced the freedom in true, unconditional love. I’m sorry that this world has hurt you so much, that its created such bitterness and cynicism within you. I’m sorry for all the emotional, verbal, physical abuse that you were subject to…


I know love cannot be seen, but it can be felt with the heart – so I pray for you to let GO, and learn to open up your heart to receive love. We close up and back away instinctively as a protective mechanism in response to pain…but to love and BE loved is to have that courage to make yourself VULNERABLE…

Even though I know its hard, and I know deep down you don’t know how to receive love….but it is there, waiting for you to receive it.


Love will keep pursuing you. All you have to do is let love in, and let it mould you, and change you…..


Remember it. Embrace it. CLAIM it.


Be blessed,



Personal Musings


Long time no see, blog.


God’s really been teaching me a lot about fear lately in the last few months. And for me, its definitely been a new, and MORE than challenging experience for me to deal with, being the control freak that I am.


If you know me [which you may or may not…hello internetz] – I like making sure my life is organised and planned, especially as far into the future as I can make it. Because as we all know, the unknown is….scary. So dropping everything back in Australia last year to come to Korea to seek God and seek life was of course, somewhat out of character for me…


In many ways, I created my self inflicted, hectic lifestyle in the past as a way of distracting myself from reality and my fears of…well…everything – by making myself as busy as possible – but during the course of this year, been challenged more and more to step out of my comfort zone, to be placed into situations of which I have NO control whatsoever – God is teaching me to learn to let go.


And so here I am, at another transition point in my life – and its all or nothing. Go backwards to the way I was, or face my fears and LEARN. Learn to let go and LET GOD.


Times like this remind me that FEAR is not of God. For God IS love; and if we understand love to the greatest extent, then fear ceases to exist….


1 John 4:18 “There is no fear in love. But perfect love drives out fear, because fear has to do with punishment. The one who fears is not made perfect in love.”


And even reminding myself of this verse and to embrace love, remember love and slap myself and my fears in the face…well, it aint easy. Not at all. Learning to focus on the positive and LET GO of the negative is so important, yet I fail to do this almost on the daily. By His strength, not mine!


God has great plans for you! As He does for me. We were created for something GREATER than anything we ever thought possible; but that involves trusting Him to guide us in the right way and knowing that HIS plans will always be greater than ours. For He can see what we cannot; we are children of God, and He is MINDFUL of us, no matter how much tunnel vision we have at a given time.


Matthew 10:29-31 “Are not two sparrows sold for a penny? Yet not one of them will fall to the ground apart from the will of our Father. And even the very hairs of your head are all numbered. So dont’ be afraid; you are worth more than many sparrows.”


[to reiterate….he cares for creatures as small as sparrows. YOU IS NOT A BIRD. You’re more than that!]


So as stressful as it is, I’m almost glad [in some weird, sick, twisted way…hahahahhaah] that I’m getting this ‘new’ experience – as a chance for me to be forced to face my fears and worries and DEAL with them, more than I ever have before.

If we remember that God is with us, then why should we fear? Don’t our fears then become somewhat irrational, if we believe in God’s unconditional love, grace and PROMISE over us?


Hebrews 13:5b “..because God has said, “Never will I leave you; never will I forsake you.” “


Over the last few years since I became Christian, God pulled all the memories and fears up out of the locked box I kept hidden away in the recesses of my mind, up to the surface so I could face them [as much as I didn’t want to] – thinking over these worries and fears – how much freer would I be if I didn’t let all these little things plague my mind and blow themselves out of proportion?


My worries of money and logistical issues living in another country, my worries of being single forever/not finding THAT person for me, my worries of simply making mistakes and saying the wrong things, my worries of never being good enough…on closer inspection, what is the point of such worry? It’s USELESS. And makes mountains out of smaller things that perhaps, are not as stressful as we [I!] perceive them to be…


Worry is wasteful.


Matthew 6:26-27Look at the birds of the air; they do not sow or reap or store away in barns, and yet your heavenly Father feeds them. Are you not much more valuable than they? Who of you by worrying can add a single hour to his life?”


Matthew 6:31-34 “ So do not worry, saying ‘What shall we eat?’ or ‘What shall we drink?’ or ‘What shall we wear?’ For the pagans run after all these things, and your heavenly Father knows that you need them. But seek first his kingdom and his righteousness,a and all these things will be given to you as well. Therefore do not worry about tomorrow, for tomorrow will worry about itself. Each day has enough trouble of its own.”



We are called to FREEDOM in Christ! Put your worries at the cross, give it to Jesus because its his burden and not yours to take. Fear and doubt and worry is NOT of God – so as hard as it is [and as I myself try to let go and receive this and not freak out!], do NOT let this consume your life. God’s GOT this. All we gotta do is…BELIEVE:)