A bit of a filler post until I get time to write up the next one (currently got a few swirling in my head); but I came across this post on Debra Fileta’s True Love Dates’ website and thought it hit the nail on the head – more times than not, people are not turned off by Christianity in itself, but rather the only real representation of Christ on earth – the Christian.

The lukewarm, hypocritical Christian at that. Who was the reason why the baby Christian Beckii never wanted to open up, and the reason a lot of my friends don’t see the need for Jesus – because the representative looks just like the world. Enjoy~

“The best argument for Christianity is Christians: their joy, their certainty, their completeness. But the strongest argument against Christianity is also Christians–when they are sombre and joyless, when they are self-righteous and smug in complacent consecration, when they are narrow and repressive, then Christianity dies a thousand deaths.” — Sheldon Vanauken

Dear Christian,

I have to be honest, I have mixed feelings about you.  A love/hate relationship if you will.  It’s like looking at two sides of a coin, trying to figure out which one is really you.  Part of me wants what you have so badly– faith, purpose, meaning — but the other side of me is too scared to jump in.

There are days that you draw me in.  I look at you and see the most loving eyes, the most gentle hands, the most open heart.  I watch as you take care of your community, as you reach out to the poor and the needy, as you mend the hearts of the broken.  There is something so meaningful and purposeful behind the way you live your life.

I am overcome by your ability to reach into my loneliness.  Reminding me that I’m not all by myself.  That someone really does care for and love me.  Somehow you always seem to know just what I need–it’s as though you had a direct line to God, or something.

I am challenged by the way you give up your time, your money, and your self for others.  I’m drawn to the fact that you are so humble, yet so confident.  You’re honest about the fact that you don’t always have it together- but that you’re working on it.  I love that genuineness…it pushes me to be real with myself as well.  It makes me want to open up.

There is something about your smile that seems real to me.  Even during really hard times.  It makes me wonder where you get such joy.  How you have such strength.  It makes me long for what you have.

Sometimes I look at your faith, and the way you hold on with all of your heart…and wish I had something to give my all to.

But then I get stuck.  I get stuck because I see the other side to your who you are, and I find myself confused.  Because some days you encourage me, but other days you disappoint me.

Other days, it’s as though something has come over you.  You aren’t acting like yourself.  I begin to wonder which side is really you. You are filled with pride and arrogance, acting like you really know it all and have it all together.  It makes me scared to come to you with my problems…because I’m afraid you’ll just judge me.

It  confuses me to watch you so caught up in the things I get caught up in- money, lust, fame and fortune.  It’s as though the American Dream has got you on a leash.  I thought you talked about bigger things?  I thought you said this world wasn’t your home?

Then why do you seem so comfortable here?  Why does your stuff matter so much?

If you can’t be free of it, than maybe I can’t either.

Even if I look past all that, the hardest thing for me is that you seem to have an opinion about everything.  What I should wear, where I should go, who I should be friends with, what I should eat and drink, how I should vote, what I should believe.  You talk about this great God of love- yet I feel constantly judged by you, not loved.  I feel as though I am under a magnifying glass and you’re picking me apart, never satisfied with who I am.

I want to get closer to you…to try and understand you…but your holier-than-thou attitude reminds me that I can’t get too close.  Maybe I’m not good enough for you.  Which makes me wonder if maybe I’m not good enough for God.  Maybe I’ll never be.

Either way, I’m going to keep watching–waiting to see the real you.  There’s a part of me that wants what you have–but a part of me that’s still confused.  But I’ll be here.  Waiting for you to show me who you really are.  Until then, don’t be surprised if I keep my distance.  I want to get closer, but I have to keep myself safe.   I guess I’m still trying to figure it all out.

And I guess maybe, you are too.  I hope you figure this out soon.  I hope you find yourself. I hope you decide who you really want to be and stick to it.

When you do, come find me. I’ll be waiting. 

Cautiously watching,

The World.



Another reblog from Unka Glen. Enjoy:)

”  “XXXXX asked: Is it wrong or right to say my feminist mind stops me from dating? Because every time when I do find someone interesting, I doubt myself and I think, “They just want to take advantage of me.” And when I do like someone, the part where I am no longer myself, the part where I care so much for the other person, scares me even if it’s a good relationship. And then I think all men are Mr. Crawford from Mansfield Park, where he “puts kindness in until sex falls out.”

Unka Glen answered: Oh yeah sweetie, as you suspect, every part of that is wrong. So lets start here: everybody wants to have sex. Maybe not right this minute, maybe light some candles first, and put on some soft music, and ya know, make sure you’re married first and everything, but yeah, we all want the same thing.

And of course this is a good thing. Sex between two married people helps to build intimacy, affection, and vulnerability. Christian marriage counselors will make sex frequency one of the first questions they ask couples who are in crisis, as a lack of sex is usually an initial warning sign of an unhealthy marriage.

For this same reason, many churches recently started a challenge to the married people in their congregations to intentionally make love every day for a month. Sex is good, it’s an important part of a solid Christian marriage, and it’s one of the first things I remember to thank the Lord for every day.

So you should really go ahead and find a nice guy, I mean, take your time and everything, but go ahead and find the kind of solid Christian guy who you could spend the rest of your life with, the kind of guy who could be a great dad to your future children… and then get married and go at it like your hair is on fire, and your butt is catching.

Let the people say Amen.

So how did we get lost on all of this? Well, to begin with, desiring sex and wanting to be a caring and responsible Godly husband DO NOT cancel each other out. It’s not an either/or situation. Kindness, love, and respect do not DISPLACE a desire for sex.

If you’re dating a guy who loses a desire to be kind as he increases his sexual desire, then you’re dealing with a profound and rare sexual dysfunction. If you’e dating a guy who just wants to be nice to you, but doesn’t have any physical desires towards you, well, honey, I’ll let you do the math, but that’s not what you’re looking for.

Also, none of this is about feminism. Feminism is about respect and empowerment. Again, if you’re with a guy who loses respect for the women he is attracted to, this is a man with severe dysfunctions. Sure, there are some feminists who do a lot of “I don’t need a man” kind of talk, but again sweetie, that’s a different kind of situation.

Sure, there are plenty of men who REALLY want the sex. But it’s like a man crossing the desert, who finally sees his oasis, and thrills with the possibilities of all that fresh, cool water. You can scold that man and tell him, “all you care about is water!”, and yeah, in that exact moment it may be taking up a large portion of his bandwidth, but it doesn’t mean that this is all he’ll ever be interested in.

What you’re looking for is someone who loves the Lord, loves you like crazy, and is totally attracted to you. All three of those things can, and will, fit together. Sure, the physical stuff needs to be in control for now, and boundaries respected until that glorious day of freedom.

But let’s face it my feminist sista, when that wedding night appears, you’re going to get your own tall, cool glass of water too.”





I won’t really have much time to blog anything proper this month [or even the next…can’t say with the way work is piling up] so as an – encouraging – space filler, I may reblog posts I find interesting from a recent find, Unka Glen🙂

Pastor Glen Fitzjerrell does prison ministry with ex-convicts in Chicago, and I stumbled across his Tumblr a few months ago. Refreshing, and possibly the best spiritual internet find I have had in a LONG time!

I take no credit for this content; all from ‘Unka’ Glen’s tumblr:) linked above!


“I recently heard a sermon where the pastor quoted Ephesians 4:27, “do not give the devil a foothold”, and he said, “I don’t want to give the devil any room in my life!” And it struck me, we really do give the enemy that easy foothold in so many ways. And here are some of the most common:

Fear of the future. The future is a mystery. And if you learn to embrace the mysteries of life, you’ll be a much happier person. We invented the phrase “spoiler alert” for a reason, because we don’t want to know what happens until the time is right. Your future could be anything, that’s what makes it amazing.

Insecurities. There is nothing more toxic than insecurity. It kills everything it touches. Left unchecked it will ruin every relationship a person has. It spawns jealousy, and even worse, it’s contagious. Have you ever been around an insecure person, and they say something like, “Oh I’ve been talking too much about my problems, I’m not important”, and then you think “Do I do that? Do I talk about my problems too much?”

Unrealistic self expectation. With a shocking regularity, we decide to permanently endure something that, realistically, we can only endure for a very short time. All these unacceptable areas we put up with, they’re like ticking time bombs, and when they go off, the enemy will be ready to step in.

Guilt games. Wallowing in guilt is all about creating a pain over your past and calling it holy. However, the Bible says we shouldforget what is behind us, and press on to reach the goal, to win the prize (Philippians 3:13-14). God is instructing you to focus on the positive benefits of moving forward, not the negative consequences of your past.

Fear of failure. Fear is a worry that something bad might happen and take us out. But failure definitely will happen, and it won’t take us out. God is bigger than our failures. Besides, a little failure is good for you. It keeps you humble and teaches you things.”