Passage Musings, Personal Musings

COMFORTABLE IN OUR STRUGGLES.

Do you ever get that feeling when you suddenly get inspired to do something; motivated to do something new, because you KNOW it will be beneficial for you, even if it involves effort and perhaps struggle – yet at the same time, the thought of change and the unknown frightens you; so you slip back into your old habits, because its easier, and because its comfortable?

No? Or maybe its not that you can’t be bothered – but rather dont recognise that there is something about your life that you need to change – and hence its just *HOW* you are, *WHO* you are….or is it?

Going through Luke recently in small group for church, this particular verse has been stuck in my mind for a while…

Luke 18: 35-43 “As Jesus approached Jericho, a blind man was sitting by the roadside begging. When he heard the crowd going by, he asked what was happening. They told him, “Jesus of Nazareth is passing by.”

He called out, “Jesus, Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Those who led the way rebuked him and told him to be quiet, but he shouted all the more, “Son of David, have mercy on me!”
Jesus stopped and ordered the man to be brought to him. When he came near, Jesus asked him, “What do you want me to do for you?”
“Lord, I want to see,” he replied.
Jesus said to him, “Receive your sight; your faith has healed you.” Immediately he received his sight and followed Jesus, praising God. When all the people saw it, they also praised God.”

I think I probably didn’t see the deeper meaning of this until a lot later on (my original thought process would have been, “Why does asking Jesus for healing mean this dude has great faith? He’s just asking…”) – but then after some discussion had a lightbulb moment. Or maybe someone just told me. I forget. Bear with me….hahahahaha.

The blind man, like any other beggar, would have had very little money and would have had to survive on what was given to them by a passing pedestrian who took pity on them. Any kind of physical ailment then, would be added leverage to getting more sympathy and perhaps more money given to them. Blindness, although a hinderance, could also be an advantage.

So knowing this, for the beggar to WANT to be completely healed, to WANT to lose that advantage over others despite his money-less condition – believing that healing from Jesus was better (even when others told him to shut up) was a BIG leap of faith. It meant he was willing to step away from the comfort of what he knew, what he knew worked for him, and was willing to step into the unknown (plus additional blessing of actual sight, haha).

What it means to ask for healing and for sight looks different for all of us – maybe its finally quitting that high paying job that makes you miserable; maybe its asking for forgiveness and apologising to someone who you already cut out of your life; maybe its putting down your pride and admitting you made a mistake; maybe its moving overseas to a new life.

For me? SO many things – even in the little things; I remember I used to always tell people (with my poor social skills) that I was tired, tired, tired. “How are you?” “Tired.” “How are you?” “Stressed.” “How are you?” “Tired and busy and stressed.” Doesn’t leave room for stimulating conversation, does it? But that took too much effort. Maybe subconciously I hoped my complaining would lead to sympathy/pity and then that person would care for me more and feel like they would remember me/pay attention to me better? To fill that empty hole in myself where I felt alone and unloved.

Now I know (or at least…think I have a better idea haha) – to live a full, joyous, exciting life is to not be afraid to take that LEAP, to trust God, especially when other people tell you to shut up. To not be comfortable in what we KNOW because its easier than making a change that will help us, even if it means stepping out into the darkness. Because God will not only heal us – but our eyes will truly be OPENED.

 

Point I’m trying to make is? Don’t be complacent in comfort. You’re better than that:)

 

Now to try and not be a hypocrite and do what I said I should do. NO FEAR!

 

Be blessed!

 

 

Beckii.

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Passage Musings, Personal Musings

WHEN ALL ELSE FAILS….PRAY.

Isn’t it funny, that when we have everything going good, we tend to forget about God and put Him on the backburner, away in a box to collect dust, only to take that magic lamp back out and ask for our 3 wishes when our lives once again, take a turn for the worse?

 

Although I don’t think I’ve ever been that ‘unreliant’ on God…still, in a sense…how often do we believe our prayers and actually believe that He WILL? That despite our seemingly dire circumstances (amidst fist shaking at the sky screamng, “WHY GOD, WHY??” – am I being a little too melodramatic here?) that He will use them to shape and mould us into something better…but in His timing?

 

Been thinking about that a lot lately. Stuck in the mental rut of, “So…what the hell am I doing again?” and, “I’m trying so hard but I don’t know if this is going anywhere…” and I fall further and further into a negative spiral of helpless thoughts, periodically slapping myself in the face to try and raise myself into positivity again.

 

The sermon at church was preached on Matthew 11:28-30, “Come to me, all you who are weary and burdened, and I will give you rest. Take my yoke upon you and learn from me, for I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls. For my yoke is easy and my burden is light.”

 

Jesus is pretty much, coming to us with open arms, inviting us to come and REST. Rest is guaranteed.

He ISN’T saying, “I miiiight give you rest.” “IF you clean yourself up perfectly first, then maaaaybe you get a break.” “Just kidding! Here’s a heavier burden to carry HAHA.” but INSTEAD, “Come, and I WILL give you rest. I am gentle and humble in heart, and you will find rest for your souls.” (haha…heavily paraphrased.)

 

A good point that was pointed out by my friend is that, Jesus never said he would take AWAY our burden (the yoke) but rather, lighten the load so that it becomes easier for us. Because who said this life would be without troubles? He certainly didn’t! (John 16:33 “I have told you these things, so that in me you may have peace. In this world you will have trouble. But take heart! I have overcome the world.”)

 

SO! (after that huge deviation) I ask myself….do I REALLY trust You? You PROMISE me rest, You promise me You will never leave me nor forsake me…yet am I still letting my burdens and worries overwhelm me by gripping tight to the steering wheel of my life, rather than trusting You to guide me in the right direction? (…I was never a great driver, hahahhaha…)

 

So yes…I took a massive leap of faith in dropping my life in Australia to come and find a new one with God in Korea. And yes, I have hope for my future with all the cool, exciting opportunities that are popping up, despite being in an extended stage of limbo and uncertainty at the moment….but I can’t let this fog cloud my vision. To have faith, is to step out into a place of which we cannot see, to have courage to follow into the darkness….sigh.

 

Lord, be my eyes and guide my heart.

 

*SLAPS SELF IN FACE*

 

Blessings,

 

Beckii.

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Passage Musings

FALL AND GET BACK UP.

Ecclestiastes 7:20 “There is not a righteous man on earth who does what is right and never sins.”

Sobering [at least, for some] reminder that nobody is perfect, and that we are ALL but HUMAN. Even the best of us will mess up like anyone else. We ain’t God. Give grace to others as much as others need to give grace to you.

Blessings,

Beckii.

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Passage Musings

ALL EQUAL.

Listening to Andy Mineo’s new ‘Heroes for Sale’ album for the past few days nonstop has evoked many a new thought in my head. Its AWESOME. AMAZING. Whatever you want to call it, Andy is on fire and the more I listen the more meaning I hear from his lyrics.

 

CONVICTION. Anyway….I might blog more in depth about his awesome album in a later post. Go support a brother and buy his album on iTunes! or on Reach Records if you don’t have iTunes, like me.

 

Christian rap is starting to reaaaaallly be on point. PtL for hiphop!

 

 

 

SO! As ‘Superhuman’ played in my head all Friday morning [ “so the grace I talk about in all of my records / I need it for myself cause really I’m just a mess”, “they expected / me to be a man without flaws / thats false I am just another rapper that’s called to point y’all to the cross”] it made me think of the vineyard parable I had recently read in Matthew.

 

 

Matthew 20:1-16 (NIV)

 

“For the kingdom of heaven is like a landowner who went out early in the morning to hire men to work in his vineyard. He agreed to pay then a denarius for the day and sent them out into his vineyard.

About the third hour he went out and saw others standing in the marketplace doing nothing. He told them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard, and I will pay you whatever is right.’ So they went.

He went out again about the sixth hour and the ninth hour and did the same thing. About the eleventh hour he went out and found still others standing around. He asked them, ‘Why have you been standing here all day long doing nothing?’

‘Because no one has hired us,’ they answered. He said to them, ‘You also go and work in my vineyard.’

When evening came, the owner of the vineyard said to his foreman, ‘Call the workers and pay them their wages, beginning with the last ones hired and going on to the first.’

The workers who were hired about the eleventh hour came and each received a denarius. So when those who came who were hired first, they expected to receive more. But each one of them also received a denarius. When they received it, they began to grumble against the landowner. ‘These men who were hired last worked only one hour,’ they said, ‘and you who have made them equal to us who have borne the burden of the work and the heat of the day.’

But he answered one of them, ‘Friend, I am not being unfair to you. Didn’t you agree to work for a denarious? Take your pay and go. I want to give the man who was hired last the same as I gave you. Don’t I have the right to do what I want with my own money? Or are you envious because I am generous?’

So the last will be first, and the first will be last.”

 

 

 

Okay that was long. And I suppose when I read it on first glance, I too was kind of like…what the heck?! Who toils all day and gets the same pay as someone who only worked one hour? Thats not fair! But I think it is actually a pretty hmm…humbling revelation when you realise that in the kingdom of God, it ain’t about you and how much more you did compared to someone else. Its what Jesus did for us; and that no matter how long you have been saved for, EVERYONE’s salvation is the same, and equal in God’s eyes.

 

The workers who were asked to the vineyard earlier believed it was for their OWN efforts that they deserved to be paid more, even thought they had agreed on the wage they were to be given.

 

In contrast, the workers that were left over in the eleventh hour were just that. Left over. and probably not the most able. The best always get chosen first for something, right? until the landowner came and found them and gave them work to do and the chance to earn some money.

 

And so we can see [or at least I think so…welcome to my blog haha] that this is an example of God’s GRACE. That no matter if we are blessed with more skills and abilities to do more and reach higher status and success in this world, or if we are more unfortunate in our circumstances and fail at things in our life, it doesn’t matter. God’s grace extends to us all, in the same amount, and we all receive the SAME salvation.

 

So be humbled in knowing that you are not superior over anyone else; nor are you any lesser. we are alllllll but…human! and Jesus came to die for us all….not for anything we did in particular, but that God’s love extends unconditionally for all.

 

 

blessings,

 

 

beckii xo

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