Personal Musings

LOOKING BACK TO LOOK FORWARDS

Well, its that time of year again – a festive day that Australia originally doesn’t have to force me to look back, reminisce, to see how far I have come and to be THANKFUL for everything that has happened to me this year. Thanksgiving; we meet again.

Its so amusing, so crazy that ever since moving to Korea at the end of 2012 – life has never been something I could call ‘static’ at any one moment. In fact; its almost overwhelming how fast things have changed, ARE changing and WILL change – my life NOW even, is still pretty drastically different to how it was 6 months ago, 3 months ago, ONE month ago…and I’m not gonna lie, it has been challenging and difficult at times…but at the same time its crazy and exciting – and I do strongly believe that God intended a purpose for everything that happens in our lives, good OR bad. That, and occasionally we make stupid decisions and reap the consequences of our stupidity. Hahahahaha.

A stark contrast from the life I knew in Australia; where the monotony nearly killed me.

In fact – what I was doing last year when I wrote my “What to be thankful for” note; I would have no idea that one year on, my life would look like it does now. Even in one year…God has redeemed and changed a lot of things, within me AND through me; doors have opened, doors have closed; friends have come, friends have left; I learn every day, more and more things I need to change and improve about myself; my eyes have been opened more and more to things of this world and things of God that I never had the ability to see before.

And so, despite MANY major stress points and setbacks this year which have challenged me and stressed me much; I know that God is doing a good work in me; that He is training me up to be something more (its like boot camp of life); and for that I am THANKFUL.

Philippians 1:6 “…being confident of this, that he who began a good work in you will carry it on to completion until the day of Christ Jesus.”

I used to wonder a few years ago – as someone seeking Christ, but also LOVING hiphop (it made me have so much peace..and excitement in my heart to watch/listen/do anything involving hiphop culture) – would I ever meet others who shared the same heart as I do? To love God and love hiphop at the same time? Or is it better for me to try and liken myself to others in the church to fit in?

But years on…I have found it!! Slowly, more and more people coming into my life that are like minded, that want to live for Christ but do so THROUGH hiphop culture as a means, TO the hiphop community…and its freakin awesome. My heart sings. Heheheh.

So to the brother/bboy in Christ who I only knew about through bboy friends who are big fans of him back in Australia(fanboys. Are real. hahahah), someone who I look to as almost a real older brother to me, someone who has opened my eyes and opened doors to the hiphop world for me, THANKYOU. To be able to teach English to, and learn Djing from the top hiphop DJ in Korea and also share faith with him, has been SUCH a blessing. Djing has been hard haha, but all the more do I have true respect and appreciation for DJs, so THANKYOU. To be able to start and quickly get better at graffiti work, and to meet friends who are willing to teach me and help me improve; something I actually wanted to do since I was a little girl (yes…I used to want to be a graffiti artist in primary school), THANKYOU. To those who have shown me that its possible for us to use hiphop for Christ and create dope things for His glory; THANKYOU. For all the connections that I have started to form with talented people in music and dance and art and Mcing and everything in between; THANKYOU! It’s been a huge journey of giggedy-giggedy oh-YEAH moments which have truly blessed my life in the past year:)

To my pastor here in Korea, and my pastor back in Australia – although neither I have really spent too much time personally with; I now realise the burden and weight that they carry in a position of influence/at the scrutiny of others; and now do I understand more the stress they undergo because of their love for the church. And for that I am thankful; for the selflessness that we sometimes do not see.

To my church family – who have been the closest thing I have ever had to emotionally experiencing real familial love; I LOVE you guys! For being there for me; for caring for my wellbeing; for checking up on me when I need it; for praying for me! Through our triumphs, our tears, our pain, our struggles….it has been a very difficult year for all of us. But through this, we have grown stronger, and I remember the importance of community and sharing our burdens as we go through this life. I couldn’t have gone through this year without them. So THANKYOU!

Ecclestiastes 4:9-12
“Two are better than one,
because they have a good return for their labour:
if either of them falls down,
one can help the other up.
But pity anyone who falls
and has no one to help them up.
Also, if two lie down together, they will keep warm.
But how can one keep warm alone?
Though one may be overpowered,
two can defend themselves.
A cord of three strands is not quickly broken.”

God has opened up my heart slowly over the past 2 years and showed me what it truly means to love and care for others. So to my blood family; despite the pain and hurt that I felt, that I feel at times in regards to my fam – in the end its from our OWN wounds that we don’t know how to love others well or in the appropriate way, even though the TRUE intent to care and love is still there. My wounds, their wounds…all of us. So I’m learning how God’s grace covers us all;and underneath it all, how to be thankful for the things that my family HAS done for me.

And finally but most importantly of all, I am thankful for JESUS in my life! And since you’re on my blog and reading this you have to deal with my cheese. Haha. For giving me LIFE, for giving me PURPOSE, for giving me IDENTITY – things I never had before. And even though its been hard, even though there are plenty of days where I feel like giving up and feel tired of all the trials and temptations, I have hope in Him and hope in the great things that I KNOW will come, and I am SO THANKFUL for all the doors that keep opening to meet and interact with and collaborate with dope people, for all the things I am experiencing and discovering, for all the chances to do cool things, to do things that can inspire and help other people, to be an encouragement to those who need it who appear in my life, to SURVIVE in a foreign country, to have my eyes opened to this world. Words can’t even express the magnitude of gratefulness I have to God for His majesty in my life. So…there’s no turning back.

For those people who really know me and support me; whether I met you a month ago and we CLICKED or I’ve known you for a long time (and we still get each other…hahaha)…RIDE OR DIE, BABY. You know who you are:)) Thankful for all the blessings, and HAPPY THANKSGIVING everyone!

Be blessed,

Beckiii.

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Lyrical Wordplay

SUFFERING SERVANT

To my surprise; Jackie Hill Perry dropped her new album ‘The Art of Joy’ for FREE on HumbleBeast Records. Check it here: http://www.humblebeast.com/the-art-of-joy . True to the record label name, she is a BEAST when she speaks!

‘The Art of Joy’ includes a short spoken word track, which is so simple; yet so POWERFUL. Definitely recommend it as a listen.

Lyrics and track below:) Blessings!

Beckii.

“Some people make me sad.

They walk past me with the rattle of buried bodies in their skeletons
And I am interested in why they havent dropped them off yet
While they have gotten so comfortable with the weight of death on their backs 
And I wonder
If they have seen stars in their eyes
And moons beneath their smirk
But you can tell
That a mirror would only give them nightmares. 
And I wish I could wake them up
Untuck them from the comfort of lonely and remind them that some dreams DO come true
That a heart
With chameleon-like pain will always be that colour
Even though the past and present hunt them like a vengeful eternity
Scaring the peace out of their faith 
I place
My two fingers next to their weary hands and pinky promise them that worship
Isn’t too far from their reach
As long as they are willing to try
Willing to crawl
Their dying hope to the edge of throne of mercy
Drag their weak hearts
Into the castle skies of David’s God and beg for Him to reign there with no umbrella
Just heaven 
Disrupting the hell and prison beneath their ribcage
Filling your lungs with songs that have been too scared to fly 
It is ok
Their earthly tears will be a means for praise
And David you see your kings face and He wipes them away
So smile
Because peace is coming.”
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