disclaimer: I haven’t blogged properly in a while. This will probably end up being very rambly…
“To love at all is to be vulnerable. Love anything and your heart will be wrung and possibly broken. If you want to make sure of keeping it intact you must give it to no one, not even an animal. Wrap it carefully round with hobbies and little luxuries; avoid all entanglements. Lock it up safe in the casket or coffin of your selfishness. But in that casket, safe, dark, motionless, airless, it will change. It will not be broken; it will become unbreakable, impenetrable, irredeemable. To love is to be vulnerable.” – C.S. Lewis
To love is to be vulnerable. But what exactly does this mean? I was reminded of this recently when watching a recent YouTube clip by a guy who I have the utmost respect for [if you dont know, now you know…he’s AWESOME^^]; Jeff Bethke, about being completely raw and honest with oneself, and with others, in order to know what it TRULY means to be human.
“to be truly human is to be truly known and someone who hides cant be known. we were created to need each other, to be honest with each other, to encourage each other and to love each other and that only happens when we’re open, with, each other…”
And as it goes, we ALL have something which we hide, something that we don’t want other people to know about. Because its weird, its unusual, its shameful, its embarassing…but in a way, isn’t that what makes us who we are? To hide our true selves, unique [haha somewhat??] qualities and experiences behind a photoshopped, seemingly unblemished carbon copy of ourselves is showing the world and those around us not who we ARE, but who we hope that they will see as acceptable and able to be loved.
But no one is perfect. And to be wholly, completely loved and understood by others, to be able to love other imperfect people completely, we have to break down our barriers and break our fear of people seeing us for who we really are.
“…and if I ever get a date with a dime I’m sending my representative,
the version of Andy that’s cropped and edited,
I’m killin’ this first impression, and I’m hidin the evidence,
Yea, photoshoppin’ the blemishes,
these lies of perfection are the cry of the desperate,
men that want that acceptance,
holdin they breath, dyin’ a thousand deaths,
forgettin there’s beauty inside the mess…”
– Andy Mineo, ‘Superhuman’
So we all crave for acceptance and love….with the irony that we are often too afraid to show our real selves to save ourselves the pain of possible rejection.
I spent most of my life exerting a lot of energy to hide my pain and problems to everyone around me, put on a mask and act like I had everything under control; when in reality I was crumbling inside. The fear that people would reject me and judge me and that I would be seen as a stupid, whiny, weak girl consumed me and led me to putting up huge barriers to everyone and everything. I wanted so much for someone to tell me I was fine as I was – but felt the need to pretend to be someone else to fit into social norms. So how could someone actually try to understand what I needed the most help for when I always hid what it was?
Jesus loves you, blemishes and all. For this is the reason he came and died – was to heal you and cleanse you! He didn’t come for the perfect, spotless beings…again, he came for the broken. I need this reminder all the time – that God wants us to be free of our personal bondages and chains; that because of what Jesus did on the cross we dont need to hide, we dont need to fear – and that we have the power to completely change our lives if we let Him in, and allow ourselves to love and be loved freely.
2 Corinthians 5:21 “God made him who had no sin to be sin for us, so that in him we might become the righteousness of God.”
There is freedom in letting go…